when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Life can be unpredictable, but nothing prepares you for that experience which changes you forever. As I lay in my hospital bed, feeling empty and vulnerable, I became aware that life as I had known it had shifted. I now had a mobility issue, and this realisation hit me with both fear and uncertainty. I found myself trying to understand how to navigate this new world—a world that can be harsh on those who stand out.

How do you move forward with a mobility aid? How do you accept yourself when you no longer feel beautiful? And how do you carry on when the world seems to see you differently? I couldn’t help but feel like I no longer belonged within the confines of what society expected of me.

I remember telling a friend, “I’m a Black, middle-aged woman with a mobility issue.” I had always been proud of my identity—I wore it like a badge of honour. But with the added weight of my new reality, it was hard to feel that pride. Everything had changed.

I was torn between wanting to stay in the safety of the hospital and being desperate to leave, to return to something familiar. But I knew I couldn’t go back to what was. I had to step into something new, something unknown. A few months into my recovery, I realised that to heal, I needed to embrace my truth, entirely and without shame—the beautiful, the messy, and the parts that scared me the most. It wasn’t easy. There were moments when I didn’t know how I was going to keep moving forward.

But in facing that fear, I discovered something unexpectedly beautiful. I began to explore the world of kink—an expansive, inviting world that felt like a breath of fresh air. At first, it was overwhelming, not knowing where to begin. But soon, that world became a place of discovery and empowerment.

This experience has transformed me, and it has made me who I am today—a proud Black woman who is comprised of the heartbroken seven-year-old girl, the fearless teenager, and the emotional young woman I once was.

Living my truth has been life-changing; it has healed me in ways I could never have imagined. Life is a journey shaped by how we navigate its challenges.